We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
