you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
