everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
