Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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