I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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