Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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