ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
