So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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