paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
