It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
