How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
