I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's official drugs can't kill me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
