their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
