barbara walters just said penis...
He felt like a one man threesome
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
