Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
