Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
And then he peed in my hair
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