If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
