My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
cat food counts as protein by the way
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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