I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
