she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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