I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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