Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
