plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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