I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
