If i come over, it means nothing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
