I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
