I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
