Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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