That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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