): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
