I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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