my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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