Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
