I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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