i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
