Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
