my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
