it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
