Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
