I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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