You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Everyone says I win the strip club
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
