You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
