piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Im part way to drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
