Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
