considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
