do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
