i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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