Already got asked if we're dating
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
