My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
