Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
