the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
