I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
